Burlesquers of the World: Red Snapper, Los Angeles
My nipples are no secret. I’m a nudist with a topless vlog. Pasties are required at all LA burlesque bar shows, so I comply with the rhinestoned icing on the nipples. Producers here treasure relationships they establish with their venues, and they don’t want to lose their regular slots to pay-to-play bands because of vice law violation.
I lost both pasties once. I’m part of the Monday Night Tease crew who has been performing a Quentin Tarantino themed show since 2008, thanks to Lili vonSchtupp. (We got to do the show for QT, which was a dream come true!) I’ve been in two numbers since the very beginning: ‘Jack Rabbit Slim’s Twist Contest’ and ‘Reservoir Dogs’. There was a pastie change between acts. In the earlier incarnations of Reservoir Dogs, I would pull off my tank top, pull a lighter from my boot to set the cop on fire, get shot by one of the other players, grab a blood pack from my panties, pop it open, and smear the blood across my chest as I died on the floor.
My left pasties got stuck to the inside of my tank top. I noticed as it passed my forehead. The right pastie sprung off as the top cleared my hair. I didn’t want to cause trouble so I had to think fast to try to cover my nipples while finishing the narrative. I threw one arm over my chest, turned and pulled out the lighter, got shot, reached for the blood pack, popped it and smeared it across my nipples. As I lay dying, I noticed visible bits of areolae. I draped my arm across my syrupy nipples for the rest of the number. I stuck my tank to my chest for curtain call. But everyone knew I had nipples anyway.